Welcome to my Artist’s Blog

Hi there! I hope you are having a fulfilling day?
I want to thank you for your interest in my website and more precisely in my art. It means a lot to know that you are following me. Here, you will find an assortment of blog posts. They are not always strictly about art. Sometimes they express random thoughts, sometimes they will talk about how I came to paint a particular scene. And sometimes they contain a review of an event I was in. I hope you will find it interesting and, if you like, feel free to comment on any of the posts!

Have a creative, happy day!
Nicky

  • Trying to be the bending tree…

    December 25, 2024

    This Christmas day was bittersweet. I am visiting my mom and sister in my country of origin. The main objective is to help out with everything that has to be arranged and adjusted because of my mom’s dementia diagnosis. But it is also to make as many wonderful memories as possible now that she is still in the early stages of this terrible disease.

    One of the things that I felt called to do, was to create this portrait of my mom and give it to my sister, who is my mom’s primary caretaker right now. Not an easy task, I tell you. Living in Canada means that I don’t see every single sign of decline and that is a true blessing for me. It sometimes also makes me feel guilty, but I know it is what it is. I am here now and I am helping out where I can. Doing it artistically comes natural and so the new portrait was a Christmas present for my sister. She was moved to tears and what more can an artist ask for? The portrait will get a good home in my sister’s house.

    The painting is based on a photograph that my sister made of mom during an unexpected funny moment, not too long ago. My sister likes to wear a hat in winter. While my sister was fetching something from the kitchen, my mom grabbed this hat and put it on her own head, a little askew. Then she waited for my sister to return, with twinkling eyes. It was a priceless moment that my sister managed to capture in a quick telephone picture. It inspired me to create this paining in the way the old master often did: first block in the main structures and then work from back to front, thin layer after thin layer, until the characteristics of this face that I know so well were jumping off the canvas. I am very happy with the look and feel of the result.

    I have painted my mother before. And she always reacted with a smile on her face, saying: “That’s ME!”. This time, when mom saw the portrait, she asked who the woman in the painting was. Only much later did she realise it was her and she commented dryly: “Old”. One of the things dementia does is destroy someone’s self reflection. So recognising a photo of oneself morphs into a picture of a woman they do not instantly recognise.

    Dementia is shocking to experience up close, especially when you don’t expect it. My mom is 89 and up to a year ago was as fit as a fiddle. Sure, she forgot things, but nothing disturbing was going on otherwise. Now, we see moments of confusion, mixed in with clarity and awareness. It can be confusing for us too. It makes you doubt that the dementia is even there. I mean, let’s be honest: how many times do I forget where I put something? It happens to the best of us. But when she takes her body lotion pot and wants to use its contents to add ‘milk’ to the coffee, and things like that, we know something is amiss.

    Yet, at the same time we also have moments with humour, when bizarre and unexpected turns of event are simply funny and we can all giggle about it. I am finding out that things like defiance and stubbornness are best handled with a good dose of patience and ‘laisser faire’: just let it happen, don’t alert my mom to something not being right. Let go and let God (take care of her). It reminds me of a Japanese or Chinese saying, that tells us that the tree that bends, rather than breaks in a big storm, is the one that survives and thrives. I try to be that tree and shower her with love, patience and understanding. This is not the time to be harsh or confronting. It is a waste of time. Better to have a smile on my face and go with the flow and make as. many memories as possible….

    Merry Christmas!

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